Why Belgium Sucks #2: It Isn't France

Even Mary and the Angel on the Cathedral at Reims are in on the joke. They know France is amazing and they are laughing at their good fortune of being trapped there for eternity.

No wonder Belgians have such chips on their shoulders! Wouldn't you if you lived next door to one of the most beautiful countries in the world?

This Is the Best They Can Do?

Today is Belgian National Day. It is July 21, 2008. I wore a turtleneck, raincoat and scarf to the parade. Belgium truly is a summer lover's paradise.

Carson took a break from her studies to accompany me to the parade. Thank god she came with me cause the snark just wouldn't have been as fun solely in my head ... I needed someone to share it with.

The Belgian National Day parade consists of, from what we could tell, the entire Belgian military participating in a parade. It took about 10 minutes. No, really, we saw about 45 minutes of the parade, at which time it appeared they decided to divert the parade route down a different road. Who knows? Maybe we were on the French-speaking route and the second half of the parade had to go down the Flemish-speaking route? Good to keep the separation alive, otherwise they might actually form a functioning government!

So what did we see at the military parade? We saw the Belgian Navy's inflatable speed boat. We saw some military planes fly overhead ... which was actually pretty cool ... especially when a few of the fighters let out yellow, red and black exhaust. (Didn't get a picture, you'll have to look at the helicopters ...)

We saw a dazzling array of military men and women in various colored dickies. I have no idea why, but every order of the Belgian military forces their people to wear a black, white, blue, yellow, white with emblem, etc. dickie.

We also saw some lovely plumed headgear. And because we are everywhere, of course there were was a small American military contigent in the parade. I think someone must have promised them free waffles and frites with real all-American ketchup at the end ... they looked extremely bored.

After trudging home in the cold and rain from the parade, I cooked a lovely dinner, did laundry and discovered my new favorite TV show. On BBC Two, there is a show called "Dragon's Den." This may be my favorite reality show ever. Every day entrepreneurs pitch their ideas to five self-made multimillionaires looking to invest in new products ... and then the multimillionaires either tear the entrepreneurs to shreds or bid against one another to invest in the idea. This is what The Apprentice should be. Instead of a bunch of Trump-indulgent, marketing-focused "challenges," this is as close to reality as you can get to demonstrating the success or failure of entrepreneurs on TV. LOVE it. And of course, love the blunt British manner of the investors.

I Heart Flanders: The Ghent Festival

My lovely friend Rebecca and I headed to Ghent yesterday to visit the Ghent Festival ... also known as "10 Days Off". The city literally shuts down and parties for 10 days. Needless to say, it was fantastic.

Ghent is a gorgeous little university town about 30 minutes by train outside of Brussels. Old stone castles, beautiful rivers, old beautiful guild houses ... you can definitely feel the history walking through the streets. It is in Flanders though so speaking French is a gigantic faux-pas. I spent the entire day not feeling bad about speaking English ... I think that may be a first since I arrived in Europe over a month ago.

The festival was really great. You basically just walk the streets and everytime you turn a corner and come to a new square, there is another stage playing great music. The biggest stage ... sponsored by Pole Pole ... was constructed over the river. Rebecca and I had a few (too many) mojitos and danced for a while by this stage.

In addition to listening to music and dancing, we wandered the town, made some great purchases at a very hip boutique that had its own DJ playing Dr. Dre and Rage Against the Machine (I felt like I was back in LA), and sipped homemade spirits at a bar on the river. I had the lychee flavor - yum!

I had one of those "I can't believe I am living in Europe" moments while we were waiting for the train back to Brussels at midnight. The moon was almost full ... the weather had been surprisingly great all day long ... and when a train pulled up heading to Bruges and Oostende, I had this overwhelming feeling to hop the tracks and get on that train. But then I remembered I can go anytime I want cause I am here for another five months! Yay!

Next up ... my friend Carson and I are spending next weekend in Champagne. Look out France!

I live in a country with no government

Literally, no government. The government resigned last night. Apparently, the Flemish speakers and the French speakers like each other less than Simon Cowell likes Ryan Seacrest ... but don't even bother to disguise it behind thinly veiled jokes.

http://www.europeanvoice.com/article/2008/07/1319/belgian-government-resigns/61697.aspx

4th of July in Europe

What better way to spend the 4th of July than in London eating fish, chips and mashy peas? Yes, I shook off the shackles of America's oppressors by enjoying the finest cuisine and beer (not pictured) they have to offer! And shopping and partying, of course!

Before heading to London on the Eurostar (2 hours ... it is ridiculously close) Friday afternoon, my colleagues and I celebrated the 4th of July in Brussels by feasting on burgers and fries at the local American sports bar, Fat Boys. Yes, it is called Fat Boys. The burgers aren't particularly good, but apparently it is the place to watch American football when the season starts so it will probably be fun to go there on Sundays in the Fall and hang out with other Americans.

I went to London to hang out with my friend Justin who is there working for Feds. I would tell you about how amazing his apartment in Marlybone is, but I am still oozing with jealousy and don't think I can bring myself to.

As luck would have it, the weekend I visited was Gay Pride, so we got to see the parade I missed in D.C. The guy in the photo below was my favorite spectator. He had some weird oven mitt he turned into an alligator, fastened on a stick, that he would snap at all the people who went by. It was ridiculous and totally entertaining. At least he was having fun and not hurting anyone.

On Saturday night, Justin and his roommates hosted a birthday party for a friend's 40th birthday (happy b-day Willie!) and it was loads of fun. Lots of fashion people, lots of fabulous gay men, lots of champagne, and me realizing that my tolerance has dramatically decreased and crawling into bed WAY before the party came to an end. C'est la vie!

Sunday, I spent the day wandering London and shopping. I went to Spitalfields market, Brick Lane, walked along the Thames and shopped on the Portobello Road. Yes, I bought some very fab jewelry (which should come as no surprise to anyone) but I mostly bought books (the English language bookshop in Brussels is tres cher). My favorite purchases are a tie between Russell Brand's autobiography and a guide to the wine regions of France. I am laughing my way through "My Booky Wook" and planning my first visit to French wine country. Delightful!

London is such an amazing city. Everyone says Brussels is such an international city ... and it really is ... but there is nowhere more international than London. It is just a crush of people speaking every langauge under the sun, of every nationality, of every class, and of every walk of life. I almost felt out of place speaking English there. I would LOVE to go back to Brick Lane and spend another day at the Sunday market. Brick Lane is known for being the center of Bengal life in London (there is a great novel called "Brick Lane" if you are interested and someone told me they are making it into a movie). Amidst all of the Bengal shops, they've got food stalls with every cuisine you can imagine ... Russian, Japanese, Chinese, French, Turkish ... anything you want. Definitely my kind of place ...

Luxembourg: Why You've Never Been

Saturday morning found me on a train bound for Luxembourg. I'd never been before and I had plans to meet my former French teacher, M. Jean-David Laplance, at a dog show he was judging in a small town called Stadibremus in Luxembourg on Sunday. So I decided to go down on Saturday, do some sightseeing, and see what Luxembourg was all about.

So you know why you've never been? Cause there is nothing interesting to see there. Sure, it is quaint, and pretty, and clean ... but really, there is no real reason to go there if you can go to France, or Swtizerland, or even Belgium. After a couple hours of sightseeing, I decided to take advantage of the fact that the sales had just begun, so shopped like the rest of the city seemed to be doing. I also had lunch in a cafe with a little old German couple who didn't speak any English or French ... and the little old woman kept crying ... it was odd to say the least.

Want to get a bus from Luxembourg to Stadibremus (16 kms away) on a Sunday? Good luck. Want to get a taxi? How about paying 70 euros? For comparison, it cost less than half that for the 3 hour train ride to Luxembourg from Brussels. I finally found a bus that would get me 3 kms away and then I walked the rest.

Stadibremus was actually quite lovely. It is a little resort town in wine country, and I spent the afternoon sitting in the sun, drinking beer, and watching the dog show. I want to say it was corny, but it wasn't. I had a lovely, relaxing day, met some really nice people, and got back on the road and home to Brussels on Sunday evening.

Think things are any difference for me here in Brussels than they are anywhere else? On no, don't worry ... the little Turkish man sitting across the aisle from me on the train did his best to get me to have coffee with him and to give him my phone number.

Here are a few photos from my trip to Luxembourg:

Dispatches from a Dog Show: Entry #1

Here's me at a dog show in Luxembourg:

Here's me getting drunk at a dog show in Luxembourg:

Any questions?